I have not updated on the Japanese dude situation. So… I saw him on Friday and as we were saying goodbye in front of the most popular library on campus, we hugged for a long time. Since this made me pretty confident that he was down with me, I decided to just go for it after we broke apart. I kissed him, and he kissed me back, and the world all made sense for a few minutes. After doing the whole “ok, we’re leaving now” thing and then kissing more anyway, I finally left to go home. He was busy during the weekend with various shit, but I saw him again today, and honestly, he makes me feel amazing. Which scares me. It makes me feel vulnerable. But he says the sweetest things that don’t make any sense. Like, “your thigh is charming” hahahaha I can’t believe he said that, he’s so fucking cute. And he said he feels cozy with me. 🙂 I just really like him a lot and I really hope that he doesn’t suddenly stop talking to me after our eventual sexy times. For some reason I’m always afraid of that happening, even though it’s only ever happened once. It was one of the hardest things for me to go through, so that’s probably why.
Basically though, I was super wet today after making out with him on this bench outside for a couple of hours. He was sort of touching me between my legs, but not indecently so (if that makes any sense). I told him I like pain and he lightly bit my neck and it was so amazing. I need to tell him that harder is better though, if I say it in Japanese, that would probably do the trick.
I really wanted to just get on top of him and do my thing, but we were in public, so… that wouldn’t exactly have been a good idea. I did tell him though that he should come over early on the 30th for this party I’m having so that we can “do things” before people get here. I really want him so bad, but part of me is really scared that he’ll be done with me afterwards. The other part of me says “life is short, love hard!”.
He’s so cute though, I don’t think he’s capable of treachery. He seems so gentle and kind, and he tastes like rosemary! Oh, and he is always super gentlemanly when we go out to eat somewhere. He always asks me if I want water or whatever else. I’m afraid of getting attached to him because he’s leaving in June. But I really just want to be with him while he’s here, he’s the cutest fucking thing.
Ahhhh ❤ ❤ ❤